Seasons

Robby and I have been married two and a half years so we aren’t experts in any way, shape or form but there’s some things I’ve learned and come to realize through the past few months. I’ve listened to podcasts, read books, and several articles here and there about the topic of marriage and relationships as well as personalities and attitudes. When people (often that aren’t married) ask “how’s marriage?”, my initial response has always been “It’s amazing! The best things ever!” but lately I’ve learned of a different way to answer that simple question. And no, I’m not saying my marriage isn’t amazing or that I don’t love it. I’m just saying there is a better answer.

Let me explain.

Some really close friends of ours lost two of their babies in less than two years and boy has it been hard for us to watch and support them go through this. So when others ask us how they are doing we can’t help but say “they are so so strong but it’s tough”. This isn’t saying that they’re relationship is tough or even that their life is tough, what’s tough is the trial that they are going through. Something I can’t even comprehend.

A few weeks ago I made a self discovery and analogy to help myself understand the concept of trials and ruts, highs and lows, etc.

Seasons.

Our lives have seasons, our marriages have seasons, we ourselves have seasons. Some seasons are hard and they really test us and other seasons are incredible and joyful. Some seasons are a short burst of you and your spouse on the same page, clicking. And other seasons are long roads of learning to bring two upbringings together into one home. In the case of our friends, the sadness and heartbreak that they’ve felt is a season but it isn’t their life. They are parents now and always will be but a season of mourning is now replaced with a season of gratitude. I’ve seen them go through these seasons and I commend them for doing so.

In my own life, I’ve been in a funk of sorts. I haven’t felt like myself; I’ve been anxious and anti-social (which is so unlike me) and it started to bother me that I was becoming someone else. Someone other than myself. It was scary to think that I was losing myself and my personality and I had no idea why. Then as I’ve begun to listen to podcasts, talk with family and friends and spend time with myself (and God) I’ve come to realize that it’s just a season, it’s not my entire life. That perspective has helped me to have a more positive outlook on myself, my relationships, my marriage and my life.

Robby and I went on a walk the other day and talked about the seasons that we’ve been through the last two and a half years: all eight times we’ve moved, the summers we’ve spent out of state, the different jobs we’ve had, school and the break we took from it, and so many other things. And I can’t help but think of the seasons before our marriage that brought us together and the seasons that we’ll go through in the future. I know some seasons we’ll be teammates playing non-stop defense to raise little rascals, some seasons of loss and grief, some seasons of financial struggle and some seasons of renewal. But we’ll also have seasons of career success, and raising children, and joy.

I love to think of the bigger picture when it comes to life, but sometimes that honestly overwhelms me when I really think hard about it. So I like to think in seasons. The season that I’m in right now is different than my best friends season or YOUR season. We’re all in different seasons, but we can still support each other, help each other, and root for each other during our seasons.